Thursday, September 06, 2007

Shurigao (sorry in gayspeak)

Here's something to write about.

Funny thing happened to me today--got a friendster request from one of the ghouls of my retarded past. For about a minute there, I was stunned. The nerd este the nerve. Looking back, the times I mostly spent with him are but awful and this I KNOW now. How can I forget that instance when he asked me to wait in his car, with the airconditioning on, for about an hour, saying he will just change his clothes. I could've died with carbon monoxide poisoning. After which I learned that he didn't just changed his clothes; he took a bath too and ate a full-course dinner. It was dumb of me to stick it out with him, I KNOW. Shongaers talaga. Longing for affection mode kasi. He was reeking of the qualities of a heartbreaker. Totally ignored it.

To be honest though, I contemplated on receiving the Add Friend request just to lurk on his site, see what's he up to, who's he dating, etc. etc..but what for?? Do I genuinely want to "connect" with someone like him even just online? The resounding sound is NO. It's pointless, not even for fun and as for old time's sake, that too is questionable.

I often thought I would still want to be friends w/ him but even with the inevitability of a Friendster request, I felt that I can't. Was I so proud when I hit on the "block user" button. I've blocked him from wrecking havoc in my peaceful life, because really that's all he is capable of doing.

Shurigao David. I cannot accept anything from you anymore, not even a Hello. :)

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Mabu-Hey!


Got this forwarded email..worth sharing for the laughs
WHY I LIVE IN THE P.I.
When I travel, people often ask me why I live in the Philippines? Well here it is.....
It is the only place on earth where......

1. Every street has a basketball court.
2. Even doctors, lawyers and engineers are unemployed.
3. Doctors study to become nurses for employment abroad.
4. Students pay more money than they will earn afterwards.
5. School is considered the second home and the mall considered the third.
6. Call-center employees earn more money than teachers and nurses.
7. Everyone has his personal ghost story and superstition.
8. Mountains like Makiling and Banahaw are considered holy places.
9. Everything can be forged.
10. All kinds of animals are edible.
11. Starbucks coffee is more expensive than gas.
12. Driving 4 kms can take as much as four hours.
13. Flyovers bring you from the freeway to the side streets.
14. Crossing the street involves running for your dear life.
15. The personal computer is mainly used for games and Friendster.
16. Where colonial mentality is dishonestly denied!
17. Where 4 a.m. is not even considered bedtime yet.
18. People can pay to defy the law.
19. Everything and everyone is spoofed.
20. Where even the poverty-stricken get to wear Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger (peke)!
21. The honking of car horns is a way of life.
22. Being called a bum is never offensive.
23. Floodwaters take up more than 90 percent of the streets during the rainy season.
24. Where everyone has a relative abroad who keeps them alive.
25. Where wearing your national colors make you baduy.
26. Where even the poverty-stricken have the latest cell phones. (GSM-galing sa magnanakaw)
27. Where insurance does not work.
28. Where water can only be classified as tap and dirty.
29. Clean water is for sale (35 pesos per gallon).
30. Where the government makes the people pray for miracles. (Amen to that!)
31. Where University of the Philippines where all the weird people go (di ah! slight lang..).
32. Ateneo is where all the nerds go.
33. La Salle is where all the Chinese go.
34. College of Saint Benilde is where all the stupid Chinese go and;
35. University of Asia and the Pacific is where all the irrelevantly rich people go.
36. Fast food is a diet meal.
37. Traffic signs are merely suggestions, not regulations.
38. Where being mugged is normal and It happens to everyone.
39. Rodents are normal house pets.
40. The definition of traffic is the 'non-movement' of vehicles.
41. Where the fighter planes of the 1940s are used for military engagements and;
42. The new fighter planes are displayed in museums.
43. Where cigarettes and alcohol are a necessity, and where the lottery is a commodity.
44. Where soap operas tell the realities of life and where the news provides the drama.
45. Where actors make the rules and where politicians provide the entertainment.
46. People can get away with stealing trillions of pesos but not a thousand.
47. Where being an hour late is still considered punctual (Grabe talaga 'to!)
48. Where the squatters have more to complain (even if they do not pay their tax) - than those employed and have their tax automatically deducted from their salaries.
49. And where everyone wants to leave the country!

FILIPINO SIGNS OF WIT:

1. The sign in a flower shop in Diliman called Petal Attraction.
2. Anita Bakery
3. A 24-hour restaurant called Doris Day & Night
4. Barber shop called Felix The Cut;
5. A bakery named Bread Pitt
6. Fast-food place selling 'maruya' (banana fritters) called Maruya Carey.
7. Then, there are Christopher Plumbing
8. A boutique called The Way We Wear
9. A video rental shop called Leon King Video Rental
10. A restaurant in Cainta district of Rizal called Caintacky Fried Chicken
11. A local burger restaurant called Mang Donald's
12. A doughnut shop called MacDonuts
13. A shop selling 'lumpia' (egg roll) in Makati called Wrap and Roll
14. And two butcher shops called Meating Place and Meatropolis.
Smart travelers can decipher what may look like baffling signs to unaccustomed foreigners by simply sounding out the 'Taglish' (The Philippine version of English words spelled and pronounced with a heavy Filipino such as:
15. At a restaurant menu in Cebu “We hab sopdrink in can an in batol” [translation: We have soft drinks in can and in bottle].
16. Then, there is a sewing accessories shop called Bids And Pises - [translation: Beads and Pieces --or-- Bits and Pieces]
There are also many signs with either badly chosen or misspelled words but they are usually so entertaining that it would be a mistake to 'correct' them like.......
17. In a restaurant in Baguio City, the 'summer capital' of the Philippines: “ Wanted: Boy Waitress”
18. On a highway in Pampanga: “We Make Modern Antique Furniture”
19. On the window of a photography shop in Cabanatuan: “We Shoot You While You Wait”
20. And on the glass front of a cafe in Panay Avenue in Manila: “Wanted: Waiter, Cashier, Washier”.
Some of the notices can even give a wrong impression such as:
21. A shoe store in Pangasinan which has a sign saying: “We Sell Imported Robber Shoes” (these could be the 'sneakiest' sneakers);
22. A rental property sign in Jaro reads: “House For Rent, Fully Furnaced” (it must really be hot inside)!
23. Occasionally, one could come across signs that are truly unique - if not altogether odd. City in southern Philippines which said: ”Adults: 1 peso; Child: 50 centavos; Cadavers: fare subject to negotiation”.
24. European tourists may also be intrigued to discover two competing shops selling hopia (a Chinese pastry) called Holland Hopia and Poland Hopia - which are owned and operated by two local Chinese entrepreneurs, Mr. Ho and Mr. Po respectively - (believe it or not)!
25. Some folks also 'creatively' redesign English to be more efficient. “The creative confusion between language and culture leads to more than just simple unintentional errors in syntax, but in the adoption of new words, “says reader Robert Goodfellow who came across a sign .....House Fersallarend' (house for sale or rent). Why use five words when two will do?
26. According to Manila businessman, Tonyboy Ongsiako, there is so much wit in the Philippines because “We are a country where a good sense of humor is needed to survive”. We have a 24-hour comedy show here called the government and a huge reserve of comedians made up mostly of politicians and bad actors.
Now I ask you where else in the world would one want to live?

Thursday, July 26, 2007

my most favorite things right now..

are this:

(Cafe Breton's Blueberry crepes)

and this:

(Cafe Breton's Mango Loco crepes)

Just died and went to sugar heaven......................


Looks can be deceiving though..hidden inside those feather-light crepes is the most velvety, diabetic-inducing vanilla ice cream I have ever tasted (parang home-made)that went straight to my hips.

Damage: PhP180.00++ per crepe (not bad!)

Thursday, July 19, 2007

quote worth blogging


"Forgiveness doesn't mean acceptance but rather UNDERSTANDING, the ability to come to terms with a certain reality, and a WILLINGNESS to live with it while it finds its place in our lives. "

— Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

a surprise party - pinoy style



Our Aussie boss celebrated his 56th bday last monday and he thought he could outwit us by taking a leave. As the photos suggest, you can run, but you can't hide! Mwahaha (insert evil laughter here ala Romy Diaz). The theme of the party was children's/coffee party.

We had some pancit malabon, sodas in can, goldilocks chicken empanada, red ribbon cake laced with ginormous amounts of boiled sugar icing, chips and nuts at 8:30 am. The birthday slash breakfast menu generated some quizzical looks from the expats but that's as far as their repulsion goes.

Our Korean boss, Mr. Gil-hong Kim was eyeing the pancit malabon when he asked my boss, Mr. Li, about the similarities of Chinese bday treats w/ that of the Philippines like serving noodles or pancit to us pinoys for looong life. "But why are these pancit malabon's noodles short and not long (said while pointing accussingly at the hapless pancit), which is what it's supposed to be?This is bad!", said Mr. Kim. To which our Aussie boss commented, Geez Gil-Hong, thanks for reminding me!!! :-P

Feels like I'm in the set of The Office..harhar.